Digesting Literature

Eating books? I don't recall a time that I've ever contemplated consuming a book, nor do I think that I would be capable of accomplishing such a feat. However, since my present circumstances are allowing me to explore the possibilities of a book digesting scenario, I might as well go and adventure. This task could become rather interesting since I would much rather indulge myself with a steak dinner or with some chicken wings. Personally, I find the nutritional value of books to be questionable at best.

1) To start off my book consuming experience, I will start with an appetizer. This appetizer will come in the form of Art in Miniature by Margaret Hicks. Appetizers are not necessarily meant to fill you up, but are meant to get you excited about eating your meal. Since Art in Miniature is intended to be published in "miniature book" form, it serves as the perfect appetizer specimen. Additionally, my interest in Art will draw me even deeper into the book, making me even more excited to begin my digestive adventure.

2) Being an avid eater, I will undoubtably want more appetizers. I will follow up my first appetizer with a novel called Life of Pi by Yann Martel. This novel is a tale of a boy that is lost at sea, facing surreal everyday events and challenges that he must overcome in order to survive. Personally, I wouldn't be able to last as long as Pi on a lifeboat. While his survival instincts and innovations are beyond compare, my skills are primitive and limited as I would most likely curl up into a ball and hope for rescue instead. Thus, I would hope to obtain his life preserving skills by ingesting this novel, making it the healthiest thing I would ever eat.

3) My main course would consist of consuming an edition of Encyclopædia Britannica Eleventh Edition. After consuming such a vast quantity of knowledge and information, not only would I be rather full, but I would undoubtably be the most informative person on the planet. There wouldn't be any possible way to deny my intellectual status. I just swallowed a 29 volume collection of knowledge, written by some of the greatest minds that have ever inhabited the earth.

4) It seems that after a meal, most people tend to have a Coffee in order to add a more awake, hyper, dare I say "crazy", element. In order to obtain my "crazy", I will sip some One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey. This novel tells the tale of the patients and events that unfold in a psychiatric hospital. After consuming the novel, I am certain that I would be diagnosed with Pica, a disorder whose sufferers consume random objects such as watches, spoons, and batteries. I would fit in well with the other patients, and thus I would look at this situation as an opportunity to make new friends. Yes, they may be certifiably "insane", but hey, who said being popular is easy? I guess Coffee truly is a social beverage!

5) After dinner, I would finish off my eating experience with a handful of Arthur's Halloween by Marc Brown. It's short and sweet and just what you need after consuming a substantial meal as I had just done. Dessert is meant to round out the eating process, and I believe that Arthur's Halloween is not only a fulfilling short story, but can also satisfy your sweet-tooth's cravings as well!

I never thought I'd live to see the day that I would think about eating a book. I guess stranger things have happened before! *bing* Dinner's done! I have to go eat now! What's on the menu? Tonight I am having a healthy serving of Harry Potter along with a stir fry of Catcher in the Rye, The Great Gatsby, and to Kill a Mockingbird. Oh no, what's happening to me!